“Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re going to get.” –Forrest Gump.
After voluntarily socially isolating at home a month before our family’s big flight to China, the last thing any of us expected was for my husband to test positive for Covid-19 antibodies on the day of our flight. It was a mad scramble to rearrange our suitcases and make alternate plans for him to stay behind, while I took over the entire responsibility for getting myself, my three kids and our dog to China. As I gave my husband a goodbye hug before going through security at the airport, it took all the courage in me to hold it together and choose to believe that everything was going to be okay.
My main concern was language. Whenever we have travelled to China in the past, my husband was usually the one to take the lead in figuring things out like communicating with people, asking questions, reading menus or information, etc. I think I overly relied on him because his Chinese ability far exceeded my own. Now I would need to be the one to fill out forms, research information, and communicate everything in my broken Chinese.
We arrived in the Shanghai airport and got through customs, Covid-screening, baggage pick up and quarantine registration just fine. Everyone at the airport was super helpful and kind. Our two week quarantine also went quite smoothly. However, getting out of Shanghai was a different story. It took my husband’s work secretary, myself and my husband all working tirelessly to get my kids and I a way out amidst the Shanghai lockdown. Flights had almost all been halted and trains were severely limited. We made many plans and back up plans, none of which panned out in the end. This went on for weeks. It was exhausting, stressful, and frustrating. I hated the uncertainty and the feeling of helplessness, but most of all, I hated the feeling of not being able to settle down and start building our new lives in China.
Eventually, we were able to get out of our hotel rooms and move about freely inside the hotel. One day, I happened to start talking with an elderly couple who turned out to also be trying to get to the same remote city in China’s northwest! Almost everything in China operates on connections and I knew I had to rely on the locals if we were to have a shot in being able to find a way out. With their help, we finally got train tickets and landed in the city of Lanzhou.
After 45 days in quarantine, the kids and I were thrilled to finally be home. After a few weeks, my husband finally reunited with us. But, this was and is just the beginning. Multiple lockdowns in our city have made many things hard, including making new friends, helping our kids learn the language, deciding on where to live, and receiving the boxes we shipped with all our possessions.
So, how are we doing now? Life is not without its challenges, but I can truly say that we are well. I think the biggest thing holding us together has been our relationships with each other. We have grown so much stronger as a family. During this time, I have especially felt regret about the lack of attention I have given to my oldest daughter for most of her life. She is extremely capable and independent, similar to me in her ability to figure things out on her own and in her quiet nature, yet also very different from me in so many other ways. Not that I don’t love and cherish her to pieces, but our relationship with each other has always been a challenge because of both our similarities and differences. In a way, this time has opened a door for us to build a new kind of relationship, as friends and comrades in this new adventure.
When unexpected things happens, it really pulls out the good, the bad and the ugly parts of you. You have to face your demons, including your insecurities, your dysfunctions, and your past. You have to choose whether you will be defeated, or take courage and do better. You have to ask for help, admit your faults, change your expectations, and do the next thing you know you need to do. Our life isn’t what we expected here, but I truly believe it will be better.
FAR AND WIDE 